Back to Basics: Technology and Communication

A homemade birthday card. A hug from a friend. A nice, long letter. Nowadays, these simple gestures seem more and more like a thing of the past. Gone are the days where a scene like “What’s the Story, Morning Glory?” in Bye Bye Birdie would fly; instead, all the characters would be linked up on their laptops, texting the song lyrics back and forth. In this day and age, where we are all so easily connected through technology, face-to-face interaction and handwritten communication seem almost obsolete.

During my meeting with Simply D and Jules the other day, Jules mentioned that this has been on her mind lately. The world is become more and more globalized every second, and the ways that humans are able to connect to one another is continuing to advance rapidly.

Although two people may be thousands of miles across the world from one another, they can still see each other through a webcam as though they are interacting with in person. People can send messages to one another, no matter the location, with just one tap of a button. If you want to see just how far advanced we humans are when it comes to digital connection, all you have to do is look online at how powerful social media is, how the message of viral video can reach hundreds of thousands in just days.

All of us at Innermix know all about this kind of communication; as we all have our hands in all kinds of projects and have the seeming inability to say “No” to any project that excites us--a great thing, in our opinions--we have a tough go of it finding times to all sit down and meet in person. Instead, we do most of our meetings and planning in cyberspace. Whether it’s through Skype, Gchat, or even just a phone call (something that now seems old school, if you ask me! - Kat) we stay connected with the touch of a button--or a few.

But while all of these technological feats are laudable and have significantly increased the east of doing business worldwide, we at Innermix can’t help but wonder—what has happened to connecting to one another in the most basic way? Has true human interaction gone the way of the dinosaurs and come extinct?

Nowadays, when you want to see how an old friend is doing, what do you typically do? Call them up and talk on the phone for hours? Only if you want your call to get rejected and instead receive a text asking why on Earth you didn’t just do that in the first place. Or you would write on their Facebook wall, Vox them, shoot them an email, etc. While this doesn’t apply to everyone, I think you get my point. Even I’m guilty of this pretty regularly.

But why do we do this? Why has it become so much easier to type out, “Hey, how are you doing?” onto someone’s Facebook wall instead of just meeting up with an old friend over coffee and actually finding out how he or she is doing? Why do we spend hours texting e-smiley faces and winks to a potential love interest instead of getting to know one another through a phone call late at night?

It’s the vulnerability that we’ve become so accustomed to protecting ourselves from. This barrier that technology has given us enables us to hide behind our cell phone and our laptops, deleting, backspacing, and rewriting our thoughts and desires to connect once again, until ultimately, we become totally disconnected.

The most important thing to realize in our techno-connected world is to strike a balance. Yes, we at Innermix do a lot of our inner Innermix (what a mouthful!) meetings in the virtual space, but we put a lot of effort into building our relationships in person, too. In fact, one of biggest Innermix’s mottos is “doing business with a good old-fashioned handshake”. Not just with business, but just with life in general, Simply D and Jules always make it a point to emphasize the importance of building an genuine relationship with every individual who they help, whether it’s through business, entertainment or just friendship, and maintaining that relationship, no matter how far away they may be.

So if you’re ever having one of those days where you find yourself thinking about an old friend or acquaintance who you haven’t spoken to in a long time, call. Write a letter. Meet up for coffe.  I know it may be tempting to just take a second and send them a text or e-mail, but between a series of exchanged one-liners and a face-to-face conversation, I think you know which one will give the both of you happiness and satisfaction in the end.

And besides, there’s nothing like hugging an old friend after not seeing them for a long time. I may be stating the obvious here, but come on, hugs are awesome. That instant connection, that warmth of familiarity? Those are things that the Internet will never give you the same way a face-to-face meeting can. 


Until next time, 


Tiffany
Editor’s Note: I agree with Tiff 100%! And I can’t help but wonder, with all of this technology, how far away are we from getting holograms sent to us? What will the first hologram say? “Help me, Obi-wan Kenobe. You’re my only hope.” Duh. -Kat

We Are Family: Shine Factory Radio and The Reese Patterson Show

Now ya’ll* may or may not know this, but our Innermix family is part of an even bigger one: Shine Factory Radio, which produces a variety of shows for BlogTalkRadio. It just so happens that this lovely month of June is the one year anniversary for Shine Factory Radio, the--surprise--radio arm of the still-bigger Shine Factory family. To celebrate, we thought we would introduce you so some other members of this creative, innovative, exciting family tree. Think of it as our little blogosphere family reunion! First up? Reese Patterson. 

I sat down virtually--thanks, Internet!--with Deon and Reese Patterson, host of The Reese Patterson Show. Reese’s show is the variety show of Shine Factory; if Innermix is there to give you advice on life, love, and relationships, Patterson is there to be a chameleon. He’ll cover everything under the sun and then some--plus a little more.Deon said it best: “Reese will talk about everything from tennis shoes to rocket ships and you’ll be entertained the whole time.”

Patterson didn’t just sit back and wait for the opportunity to entertain to fall into his lap. His success with Internet radio comes from sheer force of will, desire, and drive. To hear him tell it, one day he decided he wanted to do a radio show and simply refused to quit until he got one.  And the attitude that got him on the air was obvious from the first question I asked:

If there was a piece of advice that applies to everyone, everywhere, all the time, what would it be?
Never give up. If something is going wrong, doing the same thing—that’s insanity. Don’t do the same thing over and over again, but don’t just give up on your dream.

That may not sound too unique of an experience at first pass, but to be clear, he just knew he wanted to be on the radio and be himself. When The Reese Patterson Show first started, there was no real plan to it. Reese just felt a burning need to share his point of view and take a risk, and he showed real tenacity in making that happen. It was a calling, an intrinsic understanding: “I just had the feeling that if you just set me in front of a mic, something great is going to come out.

Talking to Reese, you hear not only the drive that quite literally pulled a radio show out of thin air, but also the humility and gratitude that earned him the trust of Shine Factory. To put a radio show on the air with no real direction takes guts and good will, and Reese Patterson has both of those in spades. He ended almost every interview question by thanking Shine Factory for the support, trust, and opportunity to pursue his now-successful show, demonstrating why someone would be willing to take such a huge risk.

The Reese Patterson Show has been on the Internet airwaves for a full year now, and both the show and its host show no signs of slowing down. Ask Reese what he wants to do next, and you’ll get an earful or five. From diversifying show topics (mentioned as potential topics: deserts, divorce, cherry pie) to bringing on more guests, The Reese Patterson Show is going to be capitalizing on the blank check written to him to explore his creativity.

Besides addressing the fun and varietal stuff, Patterson is looking to venture into more socially conscious show topics. He gives 100% raw truth on a lot of topics already, but he’s really itching to cover what really matters in today’s world. I, for one, am a huge advocate of this—not only because we definitely need more awareness of social issues, but because Reese is so articulate and passionate about them. To hear him talk about the Trayvon Martin case—not only the injustice of it, but how it demonstrates the need for more education and acceptance in this country—is a truly staggering experience.

But one thing you can consistently expect, even as the show fluctuates between silliness and seriousness? In Reese’s own perfect words, “Expect emotion. I want you to feel something, to get a reaction. I want that reaction, whether it’s anger, whether you agree or disagree, I want you to feel something when you listen to the show.”



*I’ve been at home in Texas; sorry if the Ragin' Cajun cowgirl comes out in my writing!


**Be sure to check out The Reese Patterson Show on Tuesdays and Thursdays 10pm-12am, and to follow on Facebook and Twitter.**

You Say It's Your Birthday?

Hey guys!

Long time no write? I know, I know. Fret not, we are still all happy, healthy, and alive over here at InnerScoops! As I'm sure you saw--or, at least, I hope you saw; if not, see it now!--I personally just graduated from school and, well, let's just say that life has gotten real real, real fast. Like I mentioned before, early summer is a time of change for a lot of us, and I hope that this next installation in my version of The Real World helps you know that change is scary, but change is good and, most importantly, you are not alone.

So I've graduated. Next step? Turning 22.

I've never really been one for birthdays. Well, actually, let me rephrase that. I've never been one for my *own* birthday. I love other people's birthdays, planning parties and baking cupcakes and the like. And I truly love organizing surprise parties, taking people out, singing horribly off key, and trying to make people feel as special as possible on a day that celebrates them and, well let's be honest, their mother for one helluva labor. ::Applause::

But when it's my turn? Well, I kind just shrug it off when I can. For one, I don't love the attention*. Strange thing for a blogger to say, I realize, but the spotlight of birthday affection makes me very uncomfortable. Plus, not to sound all Debbie Downer on ya'll, but my birthdays of recent memory have not exactly been winners. Not bad or anything, just uneventful and normal. I actually tried to fully take myself out of the game this season, purposely scheduling my 20k car check up and lots of work on the actual day of to pre-empt any shenanigans that could take a turn for the worse. I thought I had a nice quiet birthday followed by a normal weekend made. In the bag. Signed, sealed, delivered.

Pictured: Me. Or Rachel Dratch, whatever you want to call it. 

So imagine my surprise when, the morning of my birthday, my car started emitting a strange sound.

::tuba sounds, of course::

I was heading out to grab breakfast, and 30 seconds into my drive, I heard a scraping sound. I thought nothing of it because, hey, if you live in LA you know that our streets are pretty much paved with gravel and everything sounds scratchy. But after a few blocks I pulled over to look under my car and--oh hey there dangling heap of plastic dragging under my car.

I slogged my poor Phoebe (the name of my precious little sky blue Beetle) over to VW and had them check it out. After an hour of inspection, they concluded that--SURPRISE!--my engine cover was hanging on by a thread. Or rather, whatever the equivalent of thread is to plastic. How exactly remains a mystery: Was it old age? Something bounced up and I didn't notice it the evening before? The Keebler elves have diversified from cookie-making to car-mischief? Who knows, but it was going to cost $400 and two hours. Happy birthday to me...

I left the dealership and then went into work. My mood ring would have said--well, it would have said blue-ish because those things NEVER work! But, to illustrate my point, it would have been at least reddish. Maybe purple, trying to get red. Anyways, stop rambling and move on with it Katherine! Am I right?**

During the week, I work afternoons tutoring K-12 kids at an after school center. I have to say, regardless of the car trouble and the exhaustion later on, this was maybe the best birthday present I could've asked for. The students that I work with put such a smile on my face. I know, I know, that's such a cliché thing for a teacher to say, but things like that are clichéd for a reason. Kids, even if they sometimes make you want to tear your hair out, make your heart feel fuller and your day shine brighter than anyone else. I was greeted by bear--or should I say cub?--hugs from the kids I tutor, and was told "Happy Birthday" so many times that I felt like I was at Disneyland wearing one of those buttons that contractually obligates all workers to wish you a happy uterine expulsion. The car forgotten, that will probably be my greatest birthday memory for a long time. To be clear, that's not a low ball deal. There isn't much that can top the unconditional adoration you feel from a six year old wrapping their arms around your knees and wishing you happy birthday.

Well, maybe a house. But that's...next year??

Next time on Katherine Becomes an Adult: Moving, or How I Single-Handedly Moved Myself Out of a Third-and-a-Half (Yes, Half) Story Walk Up.

*No false modesty, I'm totally serious.

**My internal monologue is legendarily rambling, sorry ya'll.

The Graduate

It's that time of year again: Graduation, be it from high school, college, kindergarten, cooking school--it's around the corner. Graduation can be super stressful, hectic, and messy, so I thought I could guide you through the waters of my graduation. That way you might feel more prepared for yours. -Kat

Big news, InnerScoops readers: I write to you for the first time as an official graduate of the University of Southern California!

(Cue fanfare, confetti cannons, sparklers, and my own personalized World of Color production)

Obligatory mirror shot. Sorry for the shaving cream, I share a bathroom with boys. 

Okay okay, so maybe it’s not “big news” to anyone but me, and perhaps Disneyland is not interested in creating an entirely new water spectacular for this momentous occasion, but I think you get my point. On Friday, I walked across the stage to receive my Bachelor’s Degree—or rather, the folder that will eventually hold it—in International Relations, with minors in Cinematic Arts and Spanish. From our 8am call time to McCarthy Quad to the end of my small ceremony at 2pm, it was a LONG day.

USC’s graduation runs in a fashion that I imagine to be similar across all mid- to large-sized universities: one huge commencement ceremony, in which the big name speaker makes an address, and then smaller satellite ceremonies for each college. This year, we were lucky enough to have the amazing Christiane Amanpour deliver our commencement address. I’ll say now, I nearly had a cow (Ed Note: that phrase isn’t used nearly enough anymore, and thus begins my official campaign to reintroduce it into the lexicon) when I found out that Ms. Amanpour would be speaking to us. From my earliest aspirations to grow up to be Rori Gilmore, I have admired this ultimate Madame of international field journalism for her tenacity, bravery, and absolutely fascinating accent; last year wrote a piece on her work for my personal blog. 

Skating past my horribly unsubtle self-promotion, Ms. Amanpour delivered a great address. Particularly entertaining moments: she mentioned that our parents will likely help us with finances post-grad so that we can pursue our passions—at which point the student body erupted in cheers—and implored us to put down our cell phones and connect with people—at which point the parents erupted in equally fervent applause.

There were some obvious moments where Chrissy (we’re BFFs, duh) went off book, but she stayed true to her point: brazenly, passionately, and resolutely go after your dreams, because now is the time to carpe the heck out of your diems. My favorite thing she said, which I promptly tweeted, was that the time after her graduation felt like “a tsunami of possibility and hope.”

WHAT. A. METAPHOR.

The day continued into my satellite ceremony, which happened at the Shrine Auditorium. I have to say, considering it’s the place they used to hold the Oscars, I was underwhelmed by the building. I guess I should say, actually, and in the tradition of 10 Things I Hate About You, I was whelmed; if the place they held us before entering the auditorium was the Green Room for the likes of Clooney, Murray, and Crystal just a decade ago, they must love how bougie the Kodak Theater is!

Our ceremony happened without much fanfare. The Dean spoke, we walked across the stage—I wore a bunch of leis and a glowing necklace, in the tradition of the raves held there that I seriously would NEVER attend—and we sang the alma mater. And then we walked out and it was over. It was all so…anticlimactic.

But I guess that’s how these things go, right? All the pomp and circumstance (see what I did there, with the graduation song? I’m hilarious, I know) surrounding our ritualistic behavior is entirely symbolic, only entrenched in meaning when we assign that meaning. It carries no weight on its own and—oh heavens, let me stop myself before you slam your computers closed. I apologize: the Critical Studies departments at USC have clearly invaded my brain with visions of cultural constructs dancing in my head.

However, there was a moment where I really felt like I graduated. After all the ceremonies and the family pictures and returning my cap and gown, I stopped by the Lyon Center. Lyon, as it is affectionately (sort of) known, is our school gym and my place of employment for the last two years. I won’t say that working there was some eye-opening foray into the professional world, because it was really just a work-study job. But that was the place that I met some really important people in my life, and where I spent a lot of time working and working out in the past, oh, 700 days.

So for people who work at Lyon, there’s this tradition when you graduate. The swim stadium is one of our facilities, and it has one of those crazy-high tiered diving platforms. After graduation, seniors are supposed to jump of the tallest point—10 meters—in their cap and gown. I had chosen not to, because I was supposed to go out to lunch with my family after the ceremonies, so I returned my gown. But our cab was running late, our reservation got pushed back, and I had a spare set of workout clothes in my locker. That’s how I ended up, at 3:30 in the afternoon of my graduation day, standing on the edge of a diving platform in my work uniform and being filmed by my parents.

See, I have this thing about open spaces. A lot of people are claustrophobic, but what gets my heart racing is the idea of depth and expansion without visible end. I don’t see space movies in IMAX—a lesson I learned the hard way after seeing Star Trek—and, though I’m working on SCUBA certification, I have no desire to go night or deep diving. As such, you can see why I may have panicked a little bit. Standing there on that platform, staring about three stories down into a diving well, with my parents pointing two cameras at me, felt like actual graduation. All that symbolic meaning that was supposed to be in flipping my tassel and walking across stage—yeah, I had transferred that into this one moment of jumping off the high dive. This pool was now representative of my adult life, all my fears about what was ahead of me in the unknown, and I had to jump feet first and arms tucked into it to avoid heavy bruising and serious pain. How’s that for symbolism?

I stood for a second, thinking how dumb it was for me to be so scared. Katherine, this is a freaking pool. You used to be a swimmer. Just—

And I jumped.

And I survived.

And I laughed all the way down.

And I think that is a far better ritual for graduation than just walking across a stage.

Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You: Julia

Let me paint the scene: It's a cool, mid-March night, and I’m in the middle of interviewing Simply D and Jules for the blog. A little while into the interview, after skirting around my question, I get down to brass tacks, drop the bomb, address the nitty gritty--insert another cliché here, because I could go on forever--and ask the blunt question: “How has the experience been like working with Julia?”

“A roller-coaster,” exclaim Simply D and Jules confidentially in perfect unison, before bursting into loud laughter for a solid minute. Seriously.

So who is Julia? Well, unlike what Katherine initially thought (sorry guys, I get confused until I can match faces to names!--Kat) that is not Jules' full name. The lovely Miss Julia is the online Public Relations Coordinator and Office Manager for INNERMIX P&P and has known Simply D and Jules for over two and a half years. Since she has had the opportunity to see the company grow from such a young age into a forward moving, dynamic entity and grow alongside the both of them, it is no wonder that her relationship with them has evolved beyond merely employer and employee; she’s like a little sister.

Ask Simply D and Jules to tell you about Julia, and they've got stories for days. They can regale you with tails detailing her growth from that of an ambitious college student whose desires for mentorship led her to the Innermix, to a young woman who is continuously seeking to better herself professionally and personally, and will do what it takes to get there.

In the process of figuring out what she wanted to do with her life and allowing herself the time to make mistakes and learn from them, Julia has harnessed her passion for learning about social media marketing and public relations. She turned this personal passion into a well-utilized skill set, a very valuable asset nowadays. Julia has a real, fervent love for what she does and wants to carry all of Innermix to new heights.

“Most people will not know how much work she does behind the scenes. A lot of the things that happen go through her. She has made the effort to understand our brand and how we work and continuously ask how can we improve. She’s got a vision for us and we always love people who have vision,” explains Simply D and Jules.

In a company that emphasizes working as a team and connecting with the people that you work with, it’s not hard to see why she has stayed in such a unique experience. After all, there are no routine days when working with Innermix, no humdrum or monotonous or repetitive tasks just to keep you busy. In fact, team members may find days where of trying to run around and accomplish multiple tasks at once without rest until the wee hours of the morning. And she loves it all.

“I just like being able to be part of something that allows me to develop my ideas and skill set. A lot of companies just want you to work, whereas Innermix is about growing. It’s about being a part of the team instead of just working for the team,” said Julia.

It is this tenacity and this drive for accomplishment that has allowed her to move the company forward in both of the online space and as a staff. By putting the team first, learning how to take criticism well and applying it constructively towards self-improvement, she has developed the ability to bounce back from whatever challenges she meets along the way.

Despite the ups and occasional downs that she's had during this roller-coaster ride, Julia doesn’t hesitate to express a deep gratitude to the opportunities that have come her way and an overall positive outlook on her experience with Innermix.

”Personally, I’m a bit of a dreamer. And because of the way they move forward and inspire me, it makes me want to continue working with them,” she adds with a serene smile.

And it’s these dreams that keep the company and the team moving forward. After all, the driving forces towards success often include dreaming big and dreaming far.


Until next time, 


Tiffany

Stress Management 102: Don't Throw Your Cellphone. It Will Break.

Liked Kat's stress tips? We decided to keep 'em coming! Here are some tips on stress management from the lovely Tiffany. Let's see how she deals when life gets tough.

Do you ever have those days where nothing seems to be going right, despite your efforts to contain the multiple projects that have piled up throughout the day and finish up the errands that are taking longer than expected? Those times when you were looking forward to a relaxing day after completing a major project, only to find out that you did everything incorrectly and must start over? When everything seems to be against you on this unlucky day, where the barista got your coffee order wrong, your coworker blamed you for their mistakes, you messed up on dinner and your friend will be canceling plans for the weekend.

Whether you are a college student or out in the real world, most of us aren’t strangers to situations like these. Sometimes, we just happen to run into really bad days, and in times like those, it can become tempting, and perhaps at times, even relieving, to go Hulk Smash on the closest items that you can get your hands on. This often includes cell phones and pillows.

First and foremost, do not throw your cell phone. You will truly, and I mean, truly regret it after you realize that you have no idea how to put a cell phone back together. As for the pillows, do you really want to be tossing your pillow into the dark and dusty corners of the room? Especially since you don’t really know what’s been crawling around there.

Instead, there are much healthier ways that you can release your stress that doesn’t require the destruction of your electronics or your living room. In fact, these are just a few of the ways I handle my stress after a long, hard and frustrating day:

1.    Exercise – When you engage in physical activity, your body releases endorphins, which in turn, triggers positive and often euphoric feelings post-workout. By improving your body’s stamina and strength, you not only feel good on the outside but also on the inside. You don’t have to pump iron like Arnold Schwarzenegger during his Mr. Universe days. Moderate exercise such as running, biking, swimming and Yoga are all great activities to immerse yourself in, and keeping up a steady weekly routine will greatly improve your physical and mental health, thereby keeping the stress levels lower.

2.    Take a Relaxing Bath – Remember those good old days where your mom filled up a bathtub full of bubble bath? Now’s your excuse to go back to those days! There’s nothing like spending a nice, quiet evening in a tub full of hot water, bubbles and your favorite magazines, where you can just soak away your problems.

3.    Write in a journal – As one of Innermix’s bloggers, it’s no surprise that I like to relieve my stress through writing about it. Reflecting upon the day, what went wrong, what could’ve been better and what to improve on next time is a great way to have a heart-to-heart with yourself and reconvene your thoughts. Allowing yourself to record what you’re feeling will clear your mind and help you figure out what’s really bothering you and what you can do fix it.

4.    Pet your dog, cat, bird, etc. – Did you know that petting your dog could also relieve stress? Spending quality time with your pet can help with releasing stress, because of your pet’s enthusiasm and affection. Now I never owned a dog, but I actually owned a few birds and as strange as this may sound, I actually found relaxation in petting my birds and allowing them to perch on my shoulder. No matter what sort of animal your pet is, there’s nothing like coming home to your furry (or feathery) friend that is happy to see you, after a long and tiring day.

The next time you feel like pulling your hair out and beating your chest like King Kong (just kidding, I don’t know anyone who would do that…heh heh), try to remember that there are healthier and happier methods of dealing with stress. Instead of raging on the outside, you will feel invigorated, relieved and positive on the inside. And really, that’s all you really wanted to begin with.

Will you be trying out any of these tips? Or do you have some stress management tips of your own? Let me know here in the comments!

Until next time,

Tiffany


Loving these stress tips? I know they're sure helping me get through finals! We'd love to hear from you on how you keep everything together, and if you've tried any of our tricks. -Kat

Tonight on THE INNERMIX SHOW

Hello blogosphere!


Don't for get that TONIGHT at 9pm PST is another episode of THE INNERMIX SHOW. Our topic of discussion will be "Read the Signs, Know the Road." We'll talk about signals that tell you when your relationship is heading south, how to deal with them, and when to get out before it gets worse. 


Having a rough time in your relationship, and trying to figure out if it has gone wrong? Call in tonight during the show at (714) 816-4765 to get some of the best advice out there. Intern promise, it's that good!

Click here to tune into the show tonight. In the meantime, Happy Monday!

-Kat

The "Laws" of Attraction

Let's play a game. 

Imagine you’re hanging out at a coffee shop with your friends. It’s a beautiful day and you’re in the middle of a seemingly innocent chat, when suddenly, a handsome stranger makes his entrance. This fully-fledged Adonis, who appears carved out of stone and cloaked in a captivating aura, seems to stop time. You found yourself lost for words until you realize that you needed to close your mouth, stop the drooling, and try to fake normalcy.

Now, this has never happened to me and I’m just drawing from an ever so common--Okay, maybe this did happen to me a couple of times. Anyways, ask yourself this: what was it about this seemingly perfect stranger that caught your eye?

It’s an age-old question that has plagued us for millenia continues to spark theories and debate among relationship articles, talk shows, and friends over what actually make a person attractive. Is there some universal Law of Attraction that draws you to another person? Does it all boil down to physical attractiveness? Or is beauty not always so skin deep?

One of the most interesting and controversial topics that Simply D and Jules covered on “THE INNERMIX SHOW” were these hypothetical Laws of Attraction, in which they attempted to find the common denominator that would make someone attractive to a large demographic.

Jules listed off some of the common attributes that women often look for in men. Yes, you’ve heard it all before: talent, intelligence, humor, and confidence. That should be easy to find, right?

Unsatisfied by the list and insisting that the personality attributes and physical attributes aren’t always correlated, Simply D asked, “What would draw you into someone if he were just to be walking by?”

Jules was ready with an answer for that one: “It’s in their aura. You can see it in the way that they act, the way they dress. It’s in their body language. Whatever they feel on the inside will be expressed outwardly. So those things do have correlation and is not totally separate. If someone who has all these attributes walks by, a larger percentage will be attracted this person!”

We can dig deep like that, but let’s come back up to the surface for a minute. A very insightful and humorous caller named Maurice gave his insights into the show by asking Simply D and Jules a difficult yet thought-provoking question.

“What is the caveman point of view from a woman? You see, the list you gave me was more media driven. I didn’t get to hear the raw, nitty-gritty stuff. What I’d like to hear is not just the “what makes a man attractive” list, but the “I want to have babies with that guy” list!” exclaimed Maurice.

At this point in the show, I started laughing hysterically. I personally never thought about making that kind of list, but now that he mentioned it, I was just as curious in hearing it as he was.

“Most women talk about the fuzzy stuff,” he continued. “Get to the bottom line! I hear women side step that baseline and tell us all the fuzzy stuff, such as in that list you gave me earlier.”

Jules listed off a series of features that I’m sure most of us ladies can agree on: Strong jawlines and noses. Defined eyes. Broad shoulders. Good height. All great physical features that can catch our eyes of just one glance.

“Yes, your eyes will look for those features but those aren’t the only things we look for. When someone who has feminine features can still come up confident with swagger and humor, he can win me over in a second. My initial attraction by my eyes has nothing to do with what I find attractive overall. So that fuzzy stuff still does come into play with what women want,” insisted Jules.

In the end, women and men will probably never understand what makes them attractive to each other, and it may be a mystery that cannot be explained by mere science or psychology. Because of the subjective nature of how we label some as attractive and others as unattractive, perhaps that is a question only we can answer on our own. And still, we may not all agree.

But since we’re on the topic, just for kicks, let’s take a look at a question that you readers may be interested in. What do you think draws people to Jules physically? And what draws people to Deon? Let’s hear the answers from our radio hosts themselves.

“One thing we noticed is that people tend to talk about how she walks, her hair and her eyes. Those are the 3 things we hear about the most. When Jules is acting and I’m talking to some of the guys, they say, ‘Man…that hair,’ or, ‘Did you see those eyes? She can cut a diamond with those eyes,’” chuckled Simply D.

As for Simply D?

“He attracts people through his voice. There’s something very soothing, inviting, fatherly about his voice and the way he carries himself. That’s a quality I wish I had,” smiled Jules.

So Laws of Attraction may be a misnomer: it’s not a law or a formula or a set of instructions that draw people to you. It’s a combination of your physical attributes and your aura. And if there’s one thing you can learn from Simply D and Jules, remember that confidence trumps everything in the end. Whatever confidence you possess deep inside you will radiate from within and magnify your attractiveness on both a physical, emotional and spiritual level. And that, my lovely readers, is the real magic potion.

Until next time,
Tiffany

Stress Management 101: The Basics

Google Image's #3 Search Result for "Stress": 

It spoke to me more than the first two results

When people hear about us, they tend to ask Simply D and Jules two questions:

(1)  So what does Innermix not do?, and

(2)  How do you handle the stress?

Innermix has a lot of plates in the air; from The Innermix Show to Innermix P&P to music, and so many other things in between, we are always working on something (if not multiple things). Our Innermix family gels so well together because we all love to wear different hats and maximize our creativity on multiple projects.

The fact is, taking on so much can be stressful—emphasis on the FULL. There are moments where any one of us may feel overwhelmed, unsure of how to proceed, or even nervous about what we have coming up; as Ben "Spiderman's Uncle" Parker has been known to say, “with great power comes great responsibility,” and that can feel like a lot of weight on your shoulders, especially when you really care about what you’re doing.

Follow these tips and you, too, could be a Spandex-wearing super-arachnid.

But the key is stress management, something that Innermix has mastered and tries to teach the rest of us (myself included, as recent events have shown). So, in the interest of spreading the good will and the stress management, here are some tips I’ve picked up from working with Simply D and Jules.

• 1.     Don’t be afraid to laugh. When we first discussed stress management, Simply D brought up that people, particularly young women, can quite literally die from stress. Being that “young women” is my demographic and I have been known to majorly wig out when overwhelmed, just hearing that I could die of stress (which, though it’s not at all what D said, is what I heard) made me stressed. But then I laughed at myself. When I mentioned it, D said that precise reaction is why I work so well with this team: I’ve learned to accept stressors and move on from them, to laugh at myself rather than get stressed over minutia. I wouldn’t say I’ve mastered that, but it’s good advice. Just as you laugh in the face of danger, try laughing in the face of stress.
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• 2.     Learn to ask for help. The worst mistake you can make is to take on too much and never tell anyone. Internalizing the problem helps no one, and can hurt you and your projects in the long run. Swallow your pride and ask for help—an extra hand, someone to talk to, fewer assignments—and you’ll end up happier in the long run.
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• 3.     Surround yourself with positive people you love. This one should be self-explanatory: the ones you care about, and who care about you, will lighten your load simply by being there.
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• 4.     Find a (healthy) release. Everyone needs something that takes him or her away from his or her stressors. In the absence of a having I pet, I fall back on these insanely addicting $18/hour massages I get in SGV; just writing about this makes me want to cuddle with my Golden Retriever and get the knots worked out of my back. But find what works for you: watch a horrible movie, dance to loud music in your room, go to yoga—the point is, pressure needs a release valve. Take the time to find yours.

Meet Hurley (front) and Desmond (back), my anti-stress. 

There will be MANY more of these stress-management tips to come—Simply D and Jules are full of them, believe me. I’ll be sharing them with you as I get them, imparting the wisdom of two of the busiest and happiest people I know. 

Have any tips of your own? Hit me up in the comments!

Catch y'all on the flip, 

Kat

When We're Not Working...: A Trip to Cancun with Tiffany

 As a travel addict who may have overdosed on urban destinations, I have often dreamed of sailing off to a far-away land with pristine, white sand beaches and crystal blue waters for miles. Lucky for me, my dream came true at the end of March, when I took advantage of some room in my busy schedule and jetted off to one of the top travel destinations in the world: Cancun, Mexico.

If you’re wondering what Cancun is like, or if you’re thinking of where to go for your next excursion, here’s my take on this little slice of paradise.

If you’re looking for the full-out tourist experience, Cancun is the place for you. Almost every hotel in the city boasts a beautiful ocean view, and I was amazed when I threw open the curtains to my room and saw a magazine-worthy seascape.

In addition to picturesque views, Cancun boasts an array of activities, from the vacation basics—jet skiing, kayaking, etc.—to more adventurous fare like swimming with dolphins, parasailing, and even underwater cave diving. The options are endless, and it can be a bit overwhelming when it comes to planning out your itinerary. My tip? Do some research online ahead of time, but don’t book it. The hotels you stay in usually offer discounts and better rates for their guests, so wait to see what deals the concierge might throw your way.

As a marine animal lover, I jumped at the chance to swim with dolphins. Unfortunately, personal cameras were not allowed during the activity, so I don’t have any pictures. But for those who have never gotten a chance to play with dolphins before, it was definitely a surreal experience that belongs on everyone’s Bucket Lists. I waded into a shallow pool where I got to pet, feed, and play with two beautiful Atlantic Bottlenose Dolphins. I even got a little kiss on the cheek from one of them! How’s that for once in a lifetime?

In the evening, I ventured out into the city, in hopes of dining on some of Cancun’s famous seafood. With such a diverse array of fish to try, I couldn’t get enough, and I even got adventurous. When offered a choice between the Red snapper and the Snook, I went with the latter, which the waitress told me is “Mexico’s version of the sea bass.”

Pictured: Snook. Not to be confused with Snook-i.

When it comes to nightlife, Cancun isn’t much different from a party capital, like say, Las Vegas or Los Angeles. Let’s just say that MTV isn’t exaggerating anything on their Spring Break specials. Now I didn’t dance on tables or anything, but I did have a good time in my own way…

Yes, I so happened to grab a random balloon that the bartender was passing out decided to pose with it. How’s that for a crazy night? But the next morning, I was ready to put away my party dress and put on my bikini—and a snorkel. After all, what’s a good trip to the ocean without some snorkeling?

Okay, I lied. I was actually TERRIFIED of snorkeling, and I had been ever since I went snorkeling in the 8^th grade and got tangled up in a stalk of 200-ft. kelp while my friend found a small dead fish in her flippers. Really. Not. Fun.

But after a lot of persuading, I swallowed my fear and decided to be a good sport in the face of my arch nemesis, Seaweed. My worries were momentarily quashed the moment I realized that I would be driving this on my way to the snorkeling area:

(I think the proper phrase to describe my mood would be: “I’M ON A BOAT!”)

I, along with other snorkelers who were part of the tour, drove the little speedboats out past the mangroves and the blue lagoon into the coral reef, already packed with other snorkelers happily bobbing along the surface. Cancun is home to the second largest coral reef in the world, and is teeming with many different types of fish and life.

Luckily, my second snorkeling experience was a vast improvement upon the first, and I even started to enjoy seeing the fish just keep swimming—at least until I found myself surrounded by a UCLA-sized school of them, each larger than my head. But just as I started to think, “Oh, boy, here we go again,” I adjusted to my new friends and had a fun time exploring the rest of the reef.

Then came my third and final day; I had accomplished a lot, but I had one more thing to cross off my list before going back (back) to Cali (Cali). What more perfect way to say good-bye Cancun than to spend some time in the air looking over it? Just half an hour after having breakfast by the pier, I found myself on a small boat that seemed to be rocking a little too hard on the waves, laced up to a parachute.

Parasailing is quite similar to sitting on a swing, where your feet are dangling from down below and you are supported by harnesses and straps for chairs. To be honest, I expected to go a lot faster and was bracing myself for a wild ride. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was no scarier than...well, sitting on a swing. Unless of course you’re terrified of heights. Then, you’re fresh out of luck.

 Up, up and away I go!

The overall experience was quite serene and relaxing. I had the opportunity to gaze upon miles and miles of turquoise and crystal blue waters, hear the sound of waves crashing along the shore and see hundreds of happy beachcombers, some of who waved hello from down below. I felt a bit seasick from the rocking boat, but the beautiful view was enough to calm my churning stomach. 

This was basically visual Pepto Bismol.

Being in Cancun and having the chance to experience the wondrous beauty of what nature has given to us was like living in a dream world, an escape from an urban life that most of us live in every day. Just looking at these pictures, I can feel the ocean breeze on my face and hear the sound of waves crashing outside my balcony. If you’ve ever thought of taking a little sojourn south of the border, I hope that this has helped you decide that you should definitely go to Cancun. And, just for a parting shot, this picture pretty much sums up how I felt the whole time in Cancun.  

Until next time,

Tiffany 

Hazard: Ruinous Relationship Ahead

Relationships can take you from this...

...to this.

Though we try to stray away, toxic relationships can seem unavoidable—especially if you can’t spot them right away. A friendship can start out idyllic, and then slowly deteriorate into something twisted and unrecognizable. Let’s take, for instance my old friend James*.

I met James in my sophomore year of college. He was a transfer student who had just joined one of the student organizations that I was avidly involved in, and he seemed just as passionate. He was tall and muscular, came off a little shy, and was, if you’re into white boys, very attractive. He wasn’t my taste, but my best friend Charlotte* was crushing hard. Being the self-proclaimed excellent wing-woman that I am, I started inviting James to hang out with Charlotte, myself, and our friends outside of practices and meetings. Over time, Charlotte and James developed their own toxic relationship. Seeing the emotional toll their breakups and make-ups took on her was one of the most painful experiences of my life, but it would be unfair for me to tell a story that is truly hers.

It happened gradually, to the point that I honestly can’t pinpoint a date where it all changed, but I eventually went from friend to verbal punching bag. It could be anything: Everything I said was stupid, and he was smarter. My clothes were bad, and he had more style. No one liked me, and everyone loved him. Every time we went out to dinner, had a meeting, or did anything all together, I came home feeling about the size of a Borrower.

But what tipped the scale all the way to toxic: a comment about my weight.

I was still getting over the Freshman 15 at the time, and, like most 19 year old girls, was already struggling with my body image, so for him to call me fat was probably the most heinous thing I could imagine. Combine that with the months of emotional erosion, and I all but collapsed in on myself like a dying star. I simply couldn’t handle being around him anymore, so I cut him out of my life as best I could. I removed myself from any situation outside of group meetings that involved him, and even there I stayed as far away as possible.

Unfortunately, that meant I had to spend some time away from that group of friends; they hadn’t seen the dark side for themselves, and, hoping that they never would, I didn’t want to turn people against him. Luckily I have never been wanting for good company, and with an amazing support system outside the toxicity I eventually got my groove back. Then came time for Charlotte and James to fall apart, and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments that I never uttered the words, “I told you so.” After that, I was free to return to my old friendships.

My friendship with James was big-T Toxic, and there is no doubt in my mind that a continued relationship with him would have hurt my health, mentally and physically. But I am glad for that relationship because it made me stronger. In the now-famous words of Kelly Clarkson, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger**.”

If only this song had been around in 2010...

Two years ago, I had no backbone, no self-sustaining confidence, and a shaky-at-best sense of self worth. James tore me down, as if he exploded my very foundations with dynamite, but I built them back up stronger than before. Once you see something broken, you know how to fix it for good. Going through the emotional ringer taught me to find what I like about myself and stick to it, to stand up for myself, and to not rely on other people for my own self worth. There is no world in which I would wish a James experience on anyone—not even on James—but I do hope that everyone learns, in their own way, that you have the power to get out a toxic relationship and to become better for it.


Catch y'all on the flip,


Kat

*Names have been changed, of course.

**I'm sure someone else said it first, but after all those Camry commercials, Kelly is what comes to mind.